‘The Boyfriend,’ Japan’s First Same-Sex Reality Show, Hopes to Normalize LGBTQ Romance in the Country: ‘Hey, They’re Just Like Us’

by cmaia1503

32 Comments

  1. My husband and I (we’re gay) watched a few episodes and it’s definitely…. cute. It definitely gave us some insight on how other gay relationships work abroad but the show itself was boring. It took several episodes for there to even be a kiss and the whole “crew commentary” was very cringe.

    Edit: Some people have commented about “it’s Asia! Don’t expect sex!!” We know, my husband is Asian.

    Something a lot of people, especially heterosexual people don’t understand is that homosexual people ALSO experience romanticism. They see a prince and a princess kissing and think “awww romantic” then see two princes or princesses kissing and go “ugh sex!” It’s the same act. We experience romance too.

    So it was a bit disappointing that romance on this show was extremely tame and toned down. I understand the difference in culture just pointing out that it could’ve been “the boy friends” and nobody would’ve known it was about same sex relationships

  2. It’s wild how one of the most technologically advanced cultures on the planet is still so far behind socially. I hope they continue to normalize the LGTB+ community, respecting women, and a sub 40 hour work week for Christ sake.

  3. This is great for Japan. I think western audiences don’t understand how conservative Japan actually is. This is great progress.

  4. I had to research Japan’s attitude to same sex relationships for a novel I wrote (in my case, a female same sex couple), and it was…odd.

    The Japanese government will not recognize same sex marriages, nor will it provide the necessary paperwork for a Japanese citizen to marry another Japanese citizen of the same sex in Japan. However, they WILL provide that paperwork if a Japanese citizen is marrying a foreigner of the same sex outside of Japan, and if you have a same sex couple where one is Japanese and the other is a foreigner, they will twist themselves into a pretzel to keep that couple together if the foreigner’s visa expires.

    Japan is a country where they flirted with criminalizing same-sex relationships in the 19th century, and then dropped it after about ten years (the impression I got was that they thought it was pointless or stupid). They’ve had literary genres of same-sex romance involving both men and women for decades.

    In fact, what I found suggested that Japanese didn’t even have words like “lesbian” until the last couple of decades – not because of homophobia, but because defining who one loves based on sex just wasn’t a Japanese concept until the American occupation brought in the normalization of formal marriages outside of the nobility.

    EDIT: I’d also add that I found the big taboo wasn’t who you love behind closed doors – the Japanese just don’t seem to care about that – but public displays of affection. Two men holding hands in the street would be scandalous.

    It’s quite the rabbit hole.

  5. I think this is a cool thing. Japan, as polite and respectful as much of their culture comes across does have a lot of issues (like many countries) when it comes to homophobia/xenophobia etc

    Shows like this can help in gradually breaking down barriers like that.

  6. wow-how-original on

    I liked how polite everyone was. I didn’t like how participants were allowed to come and go for work or other obligations. And how the producers seemed to go easy on a couple participants who didn’t seem honest about their motivations or reasons to bow out early.

  7. Somehow I doubt people who are opposed to or otherwise disinterested in same-sex relationships are going to watch a reality tv show based around that and then change their opinion.

  8. Professional-Box4153 on

    I’ve actually been seeing a lot more lgbtq+ representation in anime as well (which is delightful).

  9. When your fertility rate as a country has fallen for 8 consecutive years and is sitting at a record low, I wouldn’t expect the government to do anything that would promote or support alternative lifestyles or partnerships.

  10. MyStationIsAbandoned on

    Yaoi hasn’t done it already? i’m not talking about porn, but like the regular gay non-porn anime and manga

  11. Anime has a lot of lgbt characters. From great representation to bad representation, but it has it.

    One that has sparked some controversy is one anime currently airing right now called, Senpai is a Otokonoko.

    It’s about a guy that does not feel comfortable at all in his male body, and dresses up as the gender he feels is him/her.

    She is her, as he does not feel comfortable living as a male.

    The anime, is decent. It shows this aspect pretty well.

    Let’s not forget older anime like Sailor moon thst had 2 lesbian characters, or anime like banana fish, where two gay characters were prominent leads and not played for jokes.

    Manga and anime has had lgbt in it for decades. Both great representation and bad.

    Side note, I highly reccomend Banana Fish. Mafia, crime, drama, etc, is it’s genre. If you dislike SA or get post from it, warning, because it contains it.

  12. HackingYourUmwelt on

    A fully gay or bi “find someone to date while we’re all living together” show is also just mathematically more interesting than the straight equivalent – no combination is off the table

  13. HokageRokudaime on

    I mean, it’s cool for a whole live action thing, but let’s not pretend like it’s the first Japanese show about a boy chasing after his boyfriend as if Naruto doesn’t exist.

  14. Impressive-Potato on

    “They aren’t haven’t any kids! They’re just like us!”
    “Those two men aren’t dating women. They’re just like us!”

  15. DataAccomplished1291 on

    The show is great. I feel one of the most successful japanese reality show on netflix right now. I really thought Japan was much more progressive, looking at LGBTQ characters in anime but they do have subtle Homophobia. I hope this show and more shows like this will change the views of people and Japan becomes more progressive and accepting of LGBTQ people.

  16. RepublicansEqualScum on

    I’ve noticed a pretty quick rise in same-sex relationships in anime and dramas over the last few years, and I’m here for it. Beyond same-sex relationships, the climate for trans people is bizarre. It’s not stigmatized and there’s not a lot of open hate or discrimination, but they basically make it so you can’t identify as the opposite gender legally unless you get reassignment surgery first.

  17. If you guys like these kind of series I would suggest also watching” Boys like Boys”. It’s a Taiwanese version of “The Boyfriend” that came out in 2023. It’s on GagaOOLala channel on Youtube. You can also watch it on their website but I think you gotta register. Not sure if the translation is any good since I can understand them.

  18. huh? why is this a big deal? it’s not like japan doesn’t already have a lot of yuri and yaoi stuff. i know that politically speaking, all the rights might not be there but when it comes to this show trying to normalize the same sex couples… i’m sorry but i don’t see it. this isn’t something new

    to make some things clear. i’m not against stuff like this. i just think the importance of this show is really exaggerated and blown out of proportions

  19. I enjoyed the adults in the room more than I enjoyed the show sadly. It was very slow and went no where, and really didn’t feel like it had any producing until the end.

    I guess it has to start somewhere.

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